Confessions of a Dancer with Two Left Feet

June 26, 2020

There is not a single day that goes by where I do not trip whilst walking down the street. Without fail every single freaking day of my life, a crack will appear as if from nowhere and out of the blue, usually, while I’m walking my dog, I will find myself being propelled not of my own volition, but because some crack in the sidewalk has inhibited my space and sends me flying. I have always been clumsy. One time when I was performing in Into the Woods in high school I was running to my entrance and tripped over a wire on the floor and fractured my elbow. So, this is not a new thing. I am inherently a klutz. It used to embarrass me. When I would walk into walls and people would laugh. Or when I would run into someone else’s car’s side-view mirror while trying to get myself in the car effectively punching myself in the stomach by accident in the supermarket parking lot. I have a billion of these stories and I know I will continue to collect them for the rest of my life.

Ever since I can remember when I would do something less than graceful I would speed away hoping no one noticed. I’d keep my head down and pray that I was going to be able to disappear from the scene of the embarrassment unscathed. After two decades of realizing that my clumsiness is just something that will always be a part of me I decided I had two choices.

1) I could be eternally embarrassed and uncomfortable daily, or
2) I could decide that being clumsy is a part of what makes me who I am and it’s actually quite endearing and charming

I chose the latter because it seemed like a much better option and much more in keeping with my quest for inner peace and consistent joy. People still laugh at me when these things happen, but now I get to laugh with them instead of feeling deeply embarrassed that I am like a 26-year-old Bambi on ice that doesn’t know how to control her limbs.

A part of my daily mantra is “we approve of ourselves.” When we wake up every day and know we don’t need anyone else’s approval it’s different than approving of yourself. Sometimes I didn’t care what others thought, but I still didn’t approve of certain parts of myself. It makes it a lot easier to not need anyone else’s approval when you first accept yourself just as you are.

I am starting this as a new practice. Every day after I list the things I am grateful for, I write down a list of things I love about myself. For example, I love my curly hair (didn’t always love that for sure), I love that I develop deep relationships, I love how I am a big effing klutz. This is not selfish or conceited. This is the beginning of developing a healthy relationship with yourself and creating confidence and letting go of the judgment of other people. If you approve of yourself truly it won’t matter what anyone else says. It won’t matter how often people will laugh at me walking straight into a door that I push even though the sign says “pull.” Because that’s one of the things I love about myself. I’m such a goof and now I get to laugh about it all day long. In fact, I wait for my next clumsy moment because they bring me joy (and the occasional stubbed toe).

So, I challenge you every day to make a list of things you love about yourself. If you can’t come up with anything, call a trusted friend or family member so they can remind you what makes you so special because I can absolutely, 100% promise you that you are special even if you can’t see it. And daily, as you begin this practice you will notice a change in the way you see yourself and the way other people see you too. Those things that used to embarrass you will now become what makes you so beautifully special and people will start to recognize it.

About an hour ago, on our post-lunch walk, I tripped massively. I laughed, rolled my eyes, and shrugged my shoulders. My husband turned to me and said, “that, right there, is one of my very favorite things about you.” I was kind of shocked because I thought my clumsiness must embarrass him sometimes too. However, because I decided I love the fact that I am a klutz, other people around me started to love it too.
It’s worth a try. Even if you just start with one thing on your list. For one week, get up and physically write down something about you that you love. Maybe it’s the way you treat others. Maybe it’s how you listen to your friends. Maybe it’s the way you make coffee. Maybe it’s the freckle shaped like the Hawaiian Islands on the back of your right thigh. Whatever it is, it’s not too big or too small and no one else has to love it about you, just you. How cool is that?

One extra challenge. If you’re feeling brave, share one thing you love about yourself in the comments below!! You can do it! I promise!

Happy day friends, I am sending you lots of love! XOXOX, CAMDW
PS here are some amazing Black and of POC Instagram accounts to follow that always bring a smile to my face be it with comedy, life/lifestyle advice, or interior design in case you need it!

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  • Well I’m certainly glad that you mentioned making coffee as one of the options of what we can like about ourselves it easy!! But seriously, thank you for creating so many ways for us to feel goood about ourselves, others, everything, and life!! It’s wonderful! Love, daddy

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