How To Make Decisions Like A Grown-Up

November 2, 2021

Domi and I have now postponed a month-long trip for the two of us to Southeast Asia not once, not twice, but three times due to COVID and I know, it’s not a big deal, except for the fact that we happened to tie taking this trip to being the last big trip we’d take the two of us before we have kids. When the question came up the third time as to what we wanted to do we had to decide to postpone again for another year due to our schedules, which also would postpone us having little ones or to cancel all together and stick with our plan to start trying to have babies. Making this decision brought up all kinds of emotions and deep questions about our future. Also, everyone and their mother had an opinion about what we should do.

 All I wanted was to have the decision made. I didn’t want to think about it anymore because every time I thought about it more it felt like I was muddying the waters and making things more complicated and emotional than they needed to be. My husband on the other hand? Well, he wanted time to think and process and then come to a decision. We also didn’t necessarily, initially agree about what we should do, which is not the norm for us.

The whole process was driving me bonkers. I hate having decisions that are waiting to be made, but I also couldn’t just make this decision without him because it affects both of us.

So, as per usual, I needed a new process to make a decision that allowed us to both have what we needed in our process of coming to a decision. I was desperate for something to cling to that would make sense when it felt like such massive decisions were up in the air.

Who else here feels like decision-making is one of the hardest things to do as an adult?

Okay, well, I can’t actually see your hands, but I feel like you raised yours, and if you do feel that way you are definitely not alone because I deeply feel the same way.

I can’t stand having decisions loom over me and for me, it creates such urgency in even making the simplest decisions that I often don’t make decisions I’m really happy with because I am in a rush to get them off of my plate. I tend to make decisions from a really emotional standpoint without taking time to also balance the logical side of thinking. I don’t believe we should necessarily weigh logic or emotion one more heavily than the other, but I think some balance between the two in addition to our intuition being used in our decision-making can feel life-changing.

But what do I do when I desperately just want the decision made already? Well, I have a new process that is working wonders for me.

1)         Set a time boundary. Decide when you’ll have the decision made.

2)         Don’t sit alone in your decision-making if you don’t want to. Call on your people, you don’t need to isolate yourself or put all the onus on your to make any decision if that’s not what you want.

3)         Check-in and get quiet and listen to your intuition—not the loud screamy voice that’s yelling in fear, but the quiet brave one that tells you what your heart is really feeling.

This holistic way to make decisions has become a huge comfort for me because I don’t feel alone, I don’t feel like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head and I also get to tap into my heart and my emotions which feels very right to me.

You have freedom in how you make decisions and you can get more sleep at night with some boundaries for when you want to think about the decision and when you don’t and I love sleeping more at night.

I love you, friends, I’m thinking about you. XOXOX, CAMDW

Like This

Share This

The Latest from Chelsea’s Blog

post thumbnail

What I Didn’t Expect While Expecting: 6 First Trimester Musings That Apply To Every Day Life

In case you missed it, Domi and I are having a baby!! We are beyond excited to welcome a new member to the family, but the roller coaster of emotions I’ve felt since looking at those two pink lines on the (third) pregnancy test I took that fateful Sunday in November has been overwhelming. No, […]

Read More
post thumbnail

Why Self Worth And Math Don’t Mix – 3 Ways To Remind Yourself “I Am Worthy”

Sometimes we learn a life lesson and it just keeps coming back to us over and over and over again. I know I’ve said it before and I will probably say it hundreds of times more, but your worth cannot be found in any number. Not the number on a scale. Not the number of […]

Read More
post thumbnail

How To Say No When It’s Hard To – 3 Important Thoughts To Consider

  I was on my way to ballet the other day when I just started to cry. I felt so sick of being taken advantage of. I felt like I was always being used and forced into things I didn’t want to do. Domi is always asking me, “Baby, did you really want to do […]

Read More
post thumbnail

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent In Business (and Life) Plans in 9 Steps

    It’s probably not surprising to anyone that I love to make plans. There’s an entire chapter of my book Inexplicably Me entitled, “Some People Have Security Blankets. I Have Lists.” I’ve been making lists and plans since I was seven years old. It’s something that makes me feel safe and, at the same […]

Read More

Follow Chelsea’s Journey

stop and smell quotes