How Would Your Treat Yourself If You Were Your Own Best Friend?
August 4, 2021
I was in the car a few weeks ago with my family. We were on our way back from a wedding, huddled in the car with snacks in preparation for the five-hour drive home. Just one more week until we would finally leave for Germany to reunite with Domi’s family, who have really become our family, too. I started looking at my to-do list for the week. I saw things piling up and I was getting stressed and still looking at ways to squeeze just one more thing in. I finally said, “Okay, I have to find something I can cancel, this is ridiculous.” And then I started going on and on about not knowing what to cancel because I so badly didn’t want to disappoint anyone.
From the backseat, my dad chimed in, “What would Chelsea do?”
At first, I was confused, what do you mean, what would Chelsea do? Chelsea doesn’t know what to do! And then I realized 1) That I’m a little slow on the uptake, and 2) He meant what would I tell a friend to do.
I rolled my eyes because this has become a pattern. My family loves to throw my own advice back in my face, which I love, and also simultaneously hate. I’m glad they hold me accountable, but dang, it’s a pain when you know you have the tools to figure these things out and you aren’t using them.
I sat for the next hour of the drive or so sorting things out in my mind. What to move, what to cancel, what to change, how to get over my need to please people…it was a busy hour. But after that time spent thinking of the best way to move things around I remembered something I’ve been told over and over in my coaching certification program. “Meet your clients where they’re at.”
It’s our job to meet our clients where they are in life, with the knowledge, tools, needs and wants at that moment. We don’t push them or force them in one direction or another, we just meet them where they are and ask them where they want to go. I wondered what would happen if I applied that same kind of grace to me. What if I woke up in the morning and asked myself, “Where am I at today?” Instead of constantly pushing to “do my best,” and squeeze everything into a short period of time, maybe it’s time I extend some grace to the way I do things. Which led me to think about another conversation I had with my friend, Kim, about what it means to “do your best.” (I know, I know, my mind moves a million miles a minute.)
So, here was the conclusion I came to:
1) It’s time to extend the same grace to me that I extend to others
2) It’s okay that “working my hardest” or “doing my best” has a different meaning on different days
3) I need to remember to talk to myself the way I would talk to a friend
How would things look different for you if you extended the grace you give others to yourself? What would it feel like to talk to yourself the way you do a loved one?
Happy day my friends, I love you and I’m thinking about you.