Stop Making Decisions From The Eye Of The Storm
July 6, 2021
So, I’ve noticed that for myself, sometimes the smallest things will incur a very intense emotional stress response. Especially when I am trying people please, at work, on vacations, trying to protect everyone from themselves and me, which seems to be a theme in my life.
Trying to make people happy is like playing whack-a-mole and there are never-ending moles that will always pop up all over the freaking place.
So, I realized whenever I have a strong emotional response to anything (my fight or flight response seems to kick in at the drop of a hat these days) and am also trying to figure out what I want to do about it, instead of having a knee jerk reaction where I send emails and/or texts I regret or where I unnecessarily stress myself out I will go through these steps to cool my jets and get my to a place where I can make a decision or move forward without the tornado siren going off in my head:
1. Stop. Take a step back and take a damn breath (or five)—go on a walk, just stand up and walk around the room, put your attention somewhere else for just a minute
2. I ask myself why am I doing what I’m doing (am I trying to fix peoples’ problems? Am I trying to make things “okay” for myself and everyone else? Or is it something else?)-I love to use this time to free write for five minutes and see what comes out, oftentimes I’m shocked with the answers that are sitting inside my mind that I had no clue were there
3. Reevaluate-Ask one of, or all of these questions: what’s another way to see this situation? What’s really going on here? Is there a compromise that does not compromise my values and my well-being?
Then from this place, I can make a more level-headed decision instead of one from the eye of the storm. Sometimes this can be done in five minutes, sometimes it’s going to take a heck of a lot longer. It’s not foolproof necessarily, but it’s helping my decision-making immensely and helping me see things from a bird’s eye view a bit better. I hope this helps you too!
I love you and I hope you have an amazing day! XOXO, CAMDW