You may not know this about me…but I tend to be someone who runs at about 100% until I absolutely have to stop. No, it’s definitely not healthy, but it’s been a coping strategy for me for years and sadly in a way it’s worked. I’ve been able to get so much done, show up for family and friends, travel, meditate, journal,  and take time for continued education on topics that matter deeply to me. Then I did this thing—I went and got pregnant…and somehow I thought I would still be able to run at 100%. I wanted to show the world that I wouldn’t miss a beat, I could keep up. I could keep going at the same pace. I wanted people to look at me and think wow, pregnant women really can do anything! 

After months of this and a lot of therapy and time with my thoughts and being sicker more often than I ever have been in my life I realized I wasn’t trying to show the world, I was trying to show myself. I was painstakingly attempting to grit my teeth and hold on through a windstorm of change. 

Change is really overwhelming for me because there’s something unknown on the other side. What is my life going to look like? Will I still be the same person? Do I want to be the same person? But really what this time showed me is that the way I’ve been operating for the last, oh, I don’t know, let’s say 20 years, wasn’t actually working for me. It’s never really worked for me. Yes, I got a lot done, but at what cost? Feeling like a whirling dervish everywhere I go? Not being able to really slow down, relax, and take time for me? Scheduling every second of my day, even my relaxation? 

As I laid in bed with the stomach flu last week, I was the sickest I’ve been in probably a decade. It was the first time I can remember not checking my emails, taking a single call, and canceling all of my appointments for the entire week. It’s kind of sad to think that it took until I was 29 to do that, but hey, better late than never…

However, the whole time I was laid up I was getting more and more anxious. Surely, the to-do list was piling up, the emails were going unanswered, and the phone calls were sitting there just waiting for a callback. As Sunday night approached before I was going back to work the Sunday Scaries set in like never before. And then this wild thing happened the next day…the world kept turning. 

What I know about pregnancy now is that there is no pushing through the exhaustion. There is no, just do one more thing on the list. There is sleep, more sleep, and getting things done in the sometimes small gaps where you aren’t sleeping. Since being pregnant I have napped more, been out of the office for a week, been violently ill, and worked less than I ever have in my life, and still (now here’s the real magic) everything has gotten done. 

So, instead of fighting this new phase of my life, it’s time to embrace it. Now, this doesn’t just apply to being pregnant. Anytime you enter a new phase in your life regardless of what it is it requires some adjusting…I’ve just been really good at avoiding these adjustments in every other phase of my life, but it would’ve been a lot easier had I just given in…

So, how can we create a new way of operating in a new phase of our lives? 

I believe each human has general operating instructions that they love to live by, but we have to take the time to see what’s serving us still and where we might need to update to a 2.0 version of our operating system.

1.         Ask yourself ideally how you would like your life to look. 

This can be in terms of your work, personal life, or any and all facets of your life. Ask yourself what you would like your routine to look like. What would feel good? What would be most productive for you? What has been working in the way you currently operate daily?

2.         Then it’s time to evaluate reality. 

My ideal routine and my reality don’t quite align at this moment and maybe the same is true for you and that is totally okay! Take a look back at what your ideal routine/mode of operating looks like—does it make sense with the way your life looks right now? 

For example, I’m someone that tends to love to work in large chunks of time and then want to go home and shut off for the night, but in my current reality with the way I can get tired out of the blue, I have to make space and find a way that makes sense for what my body and mind need right now that will keep up my productivity and allow for long pauses in my work day. I know I’m most productive and creative in the morning, so one way I can make my life easier is by blocking out two hours in the morning for those creative activities that need my attention and pushing meetings to the afternoon. I also know that right now, four meetings back to back isn’t feasible, so I have to be more diligent when booking and spreading things out across my calendar in a way that makes sense for this phase. 

3.         Always, always, always celebrate. 

Change is a scary thing for so many of us and adjusting our operating system is a huge deal. Always remember to celebrate yourself for being open to change and making the changes in small or big ways. You are always worth celebrating no matter what. 

The biggest lesson out of all of this is, Domi was right…please no one tell him. He’s been telling me for months to take better care of myself. To slow down. To find a new way of operating that works for pregnant Chelsea and I didn’t listen. I wanted to prove him wrong so badly. Because if I had to change the way I work that would also mean admitting that the way I work isn’t working and I so strongly identified with my means of operating. So, don’t forget to listen to those that care about you and are trying to take care of you. Take their advice under advisement. I learned a beautiful thing in all of this. I can actually work smarter, not harder. It is truly a possibility, so it’s time to try on a new mode of operating for size. One where I am not constantly trying to prove my work because yes, I have become known as the “we define our worth” lady, but please know I talk about this all so much because it’s something I’m still working on, and struggling with. I am right here with you, this whole journey, every step. I love you, I’m thinking about you, and I hope you have an amazing day. XOXO, CAMDW