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Flipping The Script

On Success And Self-Worth

Chelsea Austin is a writer, international speaker, and advocate from Malibu, California raised by two of the most incredible parents, her dads. Chelsea has taken her story of being raised by two gay men, and used it as a platform to spread love, acceptance, self worth, gratitude, and happiness. After a successful, but ultimately unfulfilling career in real estate, Chelsea dropped everything to take control of her life’s journey. Inspired by her own path Chelsea now spends her days as a nationally-recognized writer, speaker, advocate, and certified professional coach on a mission to help others discover their self-worth. 

Chelsea Austin

Hi Friends!

I am so glad you are here!! It is one of my greatest joys in life to create spaces and resources that allow us to tap into love, joy, gratitude, acceptance and our self-worth. When we start to flip the script on so many things in life like success, achievement, perfection we can actually start to find more enjoyment, more fun, more excitement, and love in our lives. (And who doesn’t want that?) We can begin to build healthier relationships with ourselves and others. And we have an opportunity to do this together, as a community. You are not alone, but you and you alone get to define your worth. Let’s go on this beautiful journey together.


I love you,

Chelsea

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Chelsea Austin

Hi Friends!

Chelsea Austin is a writer, international speaker, and advocate from Malibu, California raised by two of the most incredible parents, her dads. Chelsea has taken her story of being raised by two gay men, and used it as a platform to spread love, acceptance, self worth, gratitude, and happiness. After a successful, but ultimately unfulfilling career in real estate, Chelsea dropped everything to take control of her life’s journey. Inspired by her own path Chelsea now spends her days as a nationally-recognized writer, speaker, advocate, and certified professional coach on a mission to help others discover their self-worth. 

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You Might Have Seen Chelsea On...

Inexplicably Me

A MOVING, HILARIOUS, AND INSPIRATIONAL MEMOIR

A hilariously moving and inspirational memoir of a girl with two gay dads, navigating her way through life with joy, love, gratitude, and an excellent sense of humor. As the daughter of two gay fathers in the 90s, Chelsea has always had a different outlook than some people. And yet, her message is one of universal importance – love is the most important force in the world. Through her moving and at times hilarious memoir, Chelsea reflects on how we are all much more similar than we are different.

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Self-care, love, respect, & storytelling

WORTHINESS WARRIORS PODCAST

“Worthiness Warriors” with Chelsea Austin is a podcast about what makes us tick and how we can better understand what it means to show ourselves care, love and respect so that we can tap into our self-worth and pursue the lives we’ve always dreamed of. Chelsea talks to a new guest each episode to dive into the human experience of finding and defining one’s worth.

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The Latest from Chelsea...

By Chelsea Austin 17 Apr, 2023
So, apparently, April is “Stress Awareness Month…” Who knew? Although I don’t really think we need a month to remind ourselves that we’re stressed out since we feel it pretty much every day. So often I’ve said that I was dropped off at the wrong competition. We’re all out there looking for tools to de-stress yet using our high levels of overwhelm and busy schedules as proof that we’re successful. It’s incredibly counterintuitive and honestly not all that helpful when it comes to our well-being and mental health. I don’t believe that it’s possible to live in a stress-free world, at least not for me…I can’t see what that reality might look like. And trying to hide from our stress or ignore it only seems to compound it. However, I feel that we can find tools to work through stress and decrease or manage stress so that our stress levels don’t dictate how we make decisions, impact our relationships, and land us with panic attacks in the hospital. Okay, maybe that last example is just me, but I’m here to tell you if we don’t do something about our stress…it can happen. I tend to talk a lot about how meditation and journaling have changed my life and don’t get me wrong, they have, but I want to offer some other tools that are right at our fingertips if sitting quietly isn’t your thing. Let’s look at three areas of our lives where we can start to mitigate stress: Technology I love technology, and I even love social media (most of the time), but so much screen time tends to add to my stress without me even noticing that it’s happening. Every time I get in the car I turn on Google Maps for directions–even when I know where I’m going. Yes, it makes sense, I live in LA and traffic is, well, horrendous, so it’s nice to know how long it’s going to take me to get somewhere. However, I’ve also developed a habit of wanting to beat the time on the GPS and that has not proven all that helpful for me. When I’m driving home from the office there’s no reason I have to have it on or that I need to be in a rush to get there. it’s just become a habit that I turn it on. I find myself constantly checking the screen, and looking at the time, oftentimes more than once per minute. One morning on my way to work when I wasn’t in a rush I didn’t turn it on. My eyes were tired from screen time (even though it was only about 9 am) and I made the conscious choice just to check how long it was going to take, turn off my phone, and put it in the cupholder. I noticed that my breathing slowed. I felt more relaxed. I listened to an audiobook and enjoyed the drive. It decreased my stress level. I found more joy. I felt more relaxed and able to be productive instead of getting to work already feeling behind. As I mentioned in the story above, it was only 9 am and my eyes were tired from various screens. Well, that’s likely because I pick up my phone first thing in the morning out of habit. I start scrolling on social media, check my texts and my emails, and check social media again. The scrolling happens over my morning coffee–one of my favorite times of day and it tends to make me anxious, my mind starts speeding up, and I get overwhelmed before the day has even really begun. Then I spoke to two different friends about their Pinterest habits. They mentioned that instead of scrolling through Instagram or TikTok they look at Pinterest. One, my friend, Emilie Leyes (who by the way does amazing work in the healing space and you should check out their stuff on IG or TikTok @emilieleyes/@emilieleyes.hypnosis respectively), mentioned that she made a vision board on Pinterest that she scrolls through in the mornings or at night when she has that itch to pick up her phone and start scrolling. I tried this and it, too, decreased my stress level. I started my day envisioning things I’m excited about for the future and the present. I felt more at peace, happier, and ready for the day. I also started to find other options for my morning coffee time. Sometimes I now leave my phone upstairs and just talk to Domi or pet Moe, I pick up the latest book I’m reading, or knit a row or two of the baby blanket I’m working on. It helped me realize that there are other options than what has become habitual. There are little things we do every day around technology that increase our stress without us even noticing it. But we can make conscious choices about what we want to be doing instead. First, become aware of what is habitually creating stress. Start doing one thing at a time to help you realize and become more mindful of the activities you do just out of habit. Second, choose to do something else. You can try as many different things as you like until something feels enjoyable and like it’s working. You can opt to do the habitual thing too, just as long as you’re aware you’re doing it and actively are choosing to do “the thing.” Third, take note of how you feel when you make the switch. It might feel uncomfortable for a moment. You might miss the habitual “thing.” That’s okay, you can choose something else at any time, just notice what is going on with your stress level. Fourth, continue to make a choice. Remember that you are not being forced to do something habitually, you can make a choice and do something else. Now, I’m not saying you need to take Google Maps or Instagram out of your lives (trust me I need Google Maps or someone will find me wandering lost somewhere in Los Angeles) or whatever your technological “thing” is, but just notice when it’s stressing you out and allow yourself to choose something different or limit the time you do the stressful thing. Humans Relationships are so important when it comes to stress. We can spend time with people that give us energy and have us laughing, and feeling renewed afterward. We can also spend time with individuals that suck the energy from us, make us anxious before we even enter the situation, and create dread before seeing them that we all know. Notice who you are spending time with and whether or not you’re enjoying it and how it’s affecting your stress level. I love my friends and I love my family and I love my alone time. Make sure you’re getting a balance of activities that fuels the relationships that bring you the most joy, love, and acceptance possible. Don’t confuse your free time with the time that you are available. I have seen that phrase surfacing all over the internet and I am famous for squeezing as much into a day as possible when it comes to human interactions. But even with the people that energize us and that we love spending time with we can inadvertently create stress for ourselves by overbooking our calendars. It’s okay to block out time to sit home and binge “Love Is Blind.” It’s allowed to have an hour free for lunch where you don’t sit with anyone else if you need a moment. I have struggled as a people pleaser to say no to friends and family, people I adore, because I don’t want them to think I don’t love them, but taking time for myself and sitting in my sweats at home doing nothing is sometimes what I need more than anything. Take care of yourself. Notice how certain relationships affect you either positively, negatively, or neutrally. Decide what you want to do with your time and honor your wants and needs. Take stock of how this affects your stress level. Do you feel less stressed? More stressed? No change? Remember this is all up to you, do what allows you the most peace, love, excitement, joy, and freedom. Time of year Maybe it’s just because I am both the daughter and the wife of an accountant, but April is the busy season (and this is your gentle reminder to call your accountant and do your taxes…omg I cannot believe I am saying that in a blog post…the CPAs in my life are taking over!!). There is so much going on at this time of year for my daddy and Domi. Work is piling up, clients are getting stressed, and then somehow my dad and I even start to feel the stress that tax season brings. We all have different seasons in the year and in life that are going to be the busiest for us and the people around us. Notice what times of the year these are for you. It could happen multiple times, it could catch you by surprise, or it could be the same year after year. Just become aware of the times that are busy for you. Decide how you want to treat these times of year differently, if at all. Maybe these periods require a little extra grace, more alone time, or more of what fuels you. Stress isn’t going anywhere any time soon and since I don’t think all of us are going to up and move to Finland, which is the happiest country on the planet, we should learn to cope with our stress and meet ourselves where we are in our lives at this moment. Stress is normal. We all experience it. So let’s normalize stress and then find ways to deal with and create a little more breathing room that most of us need so urgently.
By Chelsea Austin 06 Mar, 2023
You may not know this about me…but I tend to be someone who runs at about 100% until I absolutely have to stop. No, it’s definitely not healthy, but it’s been a coping strategy for me for years and sadly in a way it’s worked. I’ve been able to get so much done, show up for family and friends, travel, meditate, journal, and take time for continued education on topics that matter deeply to me. Then I did this thing—I went and got pregnant…and somehow I thought I would still be able to run at 100%. I wanted to show the world that I wouldn’t miss a beat, I could keep up. I could keep going at the same pace. I wanted people to look at me and think wow, pregnant women really can do anything! After months of this and a lot of therapy and time with my thoughts and being sicker more often than I ever have been in my life I realized I wasn’t trying to show the world, I was trying to show myself. I was painstakingly attempting to grit my teeth and hold on through a windstorm of change. Change is really overwhelming for me because there’s something unknown on the other side. What is my life going to look like? Will I still be the same person? Do I want to be the same person? But really what this time showed me is that the way I’ve been operating for the last, oh, I don’t know, let’s say 20 years, wasn’t actually working for me. It’s never really worked for me. Yes, I got a lot done, but at what cost? Feeling like a whirling dervish everywhere I go? Not being able to really slow down, relax, and take time for me? Scheduling every second of my day, even my relaxation? As I laid in bed with the stomach flu last week, I was the sickest I’ve been in probably a decade. It was the first time I can remember not checking my emails, taking a single call, and canceling all of my appointments for the entire week. It’s kind of sad to think that it took until I was 29 to do that, but hey, better late than never… However, the whole time I was laid up I was getting more and more anxious. Surely, the to-do list was piling up, the emails were going unanswered, and the phone calls were sitting there just waiting for a callback. As Sunday night approached before I was going back to work the Sunday Scaries set in like never before. And then this wild thing happened the next day…the world kept turning. What I know about pregnancy now is that there is no pushing through the exhaustion. There is no, just do one more thing on the list. There is sleep, more sleep, and getting things done in the sometimes small gaps where you aren’t sleeping. Since being pregnant I have napped more, been out of the office for a week, been violently ill, and worked less than I ever have in my life, and still (now here’s the real magic) everything has gotten done. So, instead of fighting this new phase of my life, it’s time to embrace it. Now, this doesn’t just apply to being pregnant. Anytime you enter a new phase in your life regardless of what it is it requires some adjusting…I’ve just been really good at avoiding these adjustments in every other phase of my life, but it would’ve been a lot easier had I just given in… So, how can we create a new way of operating in a new phase of our lives? I believe each human has general operating instructions that they love to live by, but we have to take the time to see what’s serving us still and where we might need to update to a 2.0 version of our operating system. 1. Ask yourself ideally how you would like your life to look. This can be in terms of your work, personal life, or any and all facets of your life. Ask yourself what you would like your routine to look like. What would feel good? What would be most productive for you? What has been working in the way you currently operate daily? 2. Then it’s time to evaluate reality. My ideal routine and my reality don’t quite align at this moment and maybe the same is true for you and that is totally okay! Take a look back at what your ideal routine/mode of operating looks like—does it make sense with the way your life looks right now? For example, I’m someone that tends to love to work in large chunks of time and then want to go home and shut off for the night, but in my current reality with the way I can get tired out of the blue, I have to make space and find a way that makes sense for what my body and mind need right now that will keep up my productivity and allow for long pauses in my work day. I know I’m most productive and creative in the morning, so one way I can make my life easier is by blocking out two hours in the morning for those creative activities that need my attention and pushing meetings to the afternoon. I also know that right now, four meetings back to back isn’t feasible, so I have to be more diligent when booking and spreading things out across my calendar in a way that makes sense for this phase. 3. Always, always, always celebrate. Change is a scary thing for so many of us and adjusting our operating system is a huge deal. Always remember to celebrate yourself for being open to change and making the changes in small or big ways. You are always worth celebrating no matter what. The biggest lesson out of all of this is, Domi was right…please no one tell him. He’s been telling me for months to take better care of myself. To slow down. To find a new way of operating that works for pregnant Chelsea and I didn’t listen. I wanted to prove him wrong so badly. Because if I had to change the way I work that would also mean admitting that the way I work isn’t working and I so strongly identified with my means of operating. So, don’t forget to listen to those that care about you and are trying to take care of you. Take their advice under advisement. I learned a beautiful thing in all of this. I can actually work smarter, not harder. It is truly a possibility, so it’s time to try on a new mode of operating for size. One where I am not constantly trying to prove my work because yes, I have become known as the “we define our worth” lady, but please know I talk about this all so much because it’s something I’m still working on, and struggling with. I am right here with you, this whole journey, every step. I love you, I’m thinking about you, and I hope you have an amazing day. XOXO, CAMDW
17 Feb, 2023
In case you missed it, Domi and I are having a baby!! We are beyond excited to welcome a new member to the family, but the roller coaster of emotions I’ve felt since looking at those two pink lines on the (third) pregnancy test I took that fateful Sunday in November has been overwhelming. No, it wasn’t a shock that I’m pregnant, but somehow, even though it was planned, it was a surprise. Now that I’m in my second trimester and am not consistently hovering over a bucket or toilet I’ve had some time to mull over everything I’ve been learning while being pregnant and have realized there are so many things that apply to every stage in life that I hope I will take with me beyond pregnancy and I thought they might be helpful for you too. All emotions are valid. Of everything, this one is the biggest lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over and then over again. I’ve said this so many times pre-pregnancy, but somehow I forgot that it still applied to pregnant Chelsea. I cried several times in my therapist’s office after finding out we were expecting because I felt like I wasn’t excited enough. There had to be something wrong with me. I looked at the positive pregnancy test and there was a glimmer of excitement that quickly faded into barely veiled panic and nausea (and that was before the morning sickness started). Thoughts of the future and what would happen to my career, my relationship with Domi, traveling as a couple, and everything changing terrified me. I thought that feeling that way meant that I was going to be a bad mom. That I had made a mistake. That I didn’t care about this little nugget growing inside of me. That I had to hide this from Domi or he would think I was a terrible person. And this was especially shocking to me because I’ve always wanted to be a mom. I felt very alone, even more so since it was a time when we weren’t telling people that we were going to have a baby. I was isolated, scared, and distant. None of this was what I expected would occur when finding out that I was pregnant. But this started to change after a little while. I began getting excited, like really excited and began feeling like I couldn’t wait for the next chapter. And then I’d hit a day where I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed because I was so overwhelmed. Please know, this is very hard for me to write. I still feel a little embarrassed, but the idea that maybe one other person doesn’t have to feel alone in this is reason enough for me to be brutally honest with you. With any big life change, you cannot anticipate how you are going to feel. You have no idea, but please remember, your reaction regardless of what it is to anything even what you believe should be joyous news is normal, natural, and exactly as it should be. Every emotion is welcome, it’s all a journey and something you can learn from. And emotions can change quickly, especially if you have hormones raging throughout your body, but even if you don’t. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself time to adjust to change. It’s okay to be afraid, terrified, and not excited and it’s also okay to be thrilled and over the moon and not afraid or simultaneously terrified and excited. I started to feel more excited when I talked to Domi and realized he was nervous too. Then I became much less nervous as we told family and friends and I learned again that I’m not alone. Being able to talk about how I was feeling was so helpful. Life is a rollercoaster. Change is constant and the more we can lean into whatever it is we’re feeling knowing it’ll change the easier we can make it on ourselves. The best advice my therapist gave me about parenting is that Domi and I get to do it our way, we don’t have to do it anyone else’s and that was a huge relief. It was a realization that if we want to travel to Europe with a five-month-old, that’s our prerogative, regardless of the parents that will read this and think, “okay, just wait until you actually have the kid.” But remember that this applies to anything you do. You can do life your way. So take the pressure off and allow yourself to be exactly as you are right now without judgment. There is nothing that will magically take your body image issues away. I also thought that the day I found out I was pregnant I would magically think that my body was perfect, beautiful, and amazing. Much to my chagrin that did not happen. I was sometimes even more judgmental about my body. Why didn’t I work out more before I got pregnant? What was I doing eating so much when we were on vacation? What I learned from this is that no matter where we go, we go with ourselves. So, even if we change jobs, locations, or states of being we are still there and so are the things that caused us stress before. What this means is that there is also an opportunity to change the way we feel about ourselves, our beauty, and our worth every single day. Don’t wait until you’re pregnant, change jobs, or relocate to decide you and your body are incredible, beautiful, and fascinating. You can decide that now. Sadly, there’s no easy button past these things, but that also means there are opportunities everywhere to grow. Listen to what your body is telling you. I have always been an expert at ignoring my body’s cues. Whether it’s so I could just get one more thing checked off of my to-do list or stopping myself from eating something I really wanted, I nailed it. Sadly. But there’s something that happens when you’re pregnant, you don’t get to ignore those cues anymore because it’s not good for you and another little human. But why wait until you’re pregnant or someone else is relying on you to listen to your body? Our bodies are so powerful and will tell us so many things about what we need whether it be food, sleep, or a good cry. You don’t need an excuse to listen to your body. It is not a luxury. It is how we should function daily. We’ve been taught to ignore what we’re being told by our greatest instrument by so many scripts that we receive from family, friends, and society, but let that stop today and allow yourself to listen to what you need. This will take practice and patience, but I believe in you. The journey isn’t all magical and glow-y all the time. You may love your job. You may love your spouse. You may love being pregnant, but nothing is glowy and perfect feeling all the time. Allow space for every part of it. Whatever “it” is. Ask for help. You are always allowed to ask for help. You don’t need permission or a reason to be overwhelmed you can just want help. It doesn’t make you weak, less hard-working, or not good enough, it makes you human. The more help we can ask for the more we can free up the space to do the things we love, take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and find the enjoyment that we all deserve in life. Find a community of experts that you trust and choose the people you involve in how you feel and what you need carefully. As you can tell I’m pretty much an open book. I love answering questions and nothing is really too personal, but I’ve also found during this journey that sometimes we need to go to specific people with specific needs and not everyone needs to know everything about your experience. This is mainly because everyone has an opinion and a reason why they think they’re right. For example, someone who has never carried a child may think they know the best things you should be doing or someone that already has children may think you’re overreacting to these things that are new for you, but this is true about anything in life. Opinions are just that, opinions and if they don’t jive with you-chuck them out. You don’t have to be an open book and sometimes figuring out who to go to at different times in your life can make those moments even more special for those you decide to share with. I think it goes without saying that everyone is going through something in life. Whatever it is, whether it be a big life change or just life being life give yourself grace and ease. You are exactly where you need to be. You will figure this out. There is so much wonder and amazingness ahead. I love you, you’ve got this. XOXOX, CAMDW
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