October 18, 2019
I’m pretty hard on myself and sometimes that translates to me also being hard on other people I come into contact with. I am not the loosey, goosey California girl that takes things as they come and when things get tough says, “Ommmmm.” I am a list-making, on-time running, planner-using nutcase that likes everything to be just right. I’m freaking Goldilocks.
I don’t find traffic to be an excuse when you’re late in LA since everyone has to fight traffic and those that are from here or live here permanently should just leave early enough to make it wherever they have to go. It’s called planning ahead, something I may, in fact, do too much of.
However, I’ve realized I’m not going to stop being friends with certain people or working with certain people just because they’re late or because they aren’t always as reliable as I think they should be. And if I’m going to continue to work with and love said people then I need to learn to cut them some slack. I need to learn that most people out there are doing their best and sometimes they can’t reach my unreasonably high standards and that’s okay. Most of the time I can’t reach my unreasonably high standards either…We all have lives, we all make mistakes and maybe I should learn to relax now and again, for instance, every third Thursday.
My Dad taught me that if someone is late it means they don’t respect your time. So, I try really, really, really hard to never be late. Sometimes I fail and I am late, mostly through faults of my own, which means I need to cut other people slack when they fail and know that this is not out of disrespect, but that life just gets in the way sometimes. But on the other hand…some people are always late, no matter what and that is a totally different case for a another time…
I can forgive people for being late, or missing a deadline, but I don’t have to be at effect of someone else’s poor planning. If someone is late I can leave. I don’t have to wait for them. If someone let’s a job slip through the cracks, I can find someone else that can do the job just as effectively. If I sit there and stew about the person being late the only person I’m making insane is myself. If I want a job done by a certain person and I know they have a tendency to miss deadlines, then I should set realistic expectations for myself and everyone involved so that I’m not disappointed because yelling at people and being disappointed by people gets old and not to mention, it’s beyond exhausting and might I mention it’s only exhausting for me.
Instead of me looking super pissed when a friend shows up more than 20 minutes late (20 minutes is my usual grace period for meetings, etc.) then I should just leave. I have important things to do and if they can’t make it, I should go and do my important or possibly unimportant things. I don’t have to be mad or yell, I should just tell them “I’m so sorry, but you’re so late it’s stressing me out, I had to leave, but I love you and I’m sure we’ll find time soon that works better for both of us!”
It’s certainly more effective than them showing up and me plastering on a smile and saying, “no, it’s totally fine, I’m not upset at all.” All the while not blinking nor making eye contact and tapping my foot vigorously on the floor and aggressively chugging down yet another cup of coffee. I am allowed to be upset and they are allowed to be late, but I am not allowed to make myself crazy because of someone else’s lack of forethought. I respect my time and if someone else doesn’t that’s ok, but I’m going to keep moving because sitting around watching the clock tick by stresses me out. Now let me be clear, there are some very good excuses for being late so if you’re planning on being late for me I would come up with a really good one.
Happy weekend friends xoxo, I’m celebrating the weekend with one of my favorite people up in Sacramento, my girl Olivia. <3 Find someone special to celebrate this weekend with too, oh! and try to leave enough time to get there 🙂