July 2, 2019
“We love you to the sun and the moon and back” said Dad as he turned on my night light and kissed me on the head. It was really more symbolic than anything. Both of my parents knew it would be a matter of minutes before they heard the soft patter of my feet on the hallway carpet and I would be crawling into bed in between them. But every night when I went to bed my parents always said the same thing “We love you to the sun and the moon and back.” It’s the only way I learned to love everyone I came in contact with. To the sun and the moon and back and then some.
This gift that my parents gave me is what I want to give the world. I want to give everyone I meet the feeling that they are loved, heard and wanted. I had two parents that had to work extra hard to have a baby. There was no way I could have been an accident, it just doesn’t happen like that for two gay men. So from the day I was born I was given the gift of knowing that I was wanted and loved immeasurably and that anything is possible, but somehow as I got older and started to grow up I got distracted and forgot. I started relying more on what other people thought than what I knew in my heart to be true. I forgot that just being me was enough. I think other people also forget that just being who they are is enough. You are enough. I am enough. We are all doing our very best. So, I’ve decided to start writing down some of my experiences. The ones where I’ve forgotten that I am enough and sometimes the ones where I remember and how these experiences in my life have shaped me.
So, Stop. Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Life is not always easy, but maybe we can do this together. If you’re reading this (and even if you’re not) I am sending one giant hug your way because I know that you are alive and being alive can be hard and I feel like you need a hug. I am also here to tell you that you’re loved, if you’re thinking you don’t know by who, then believe this, you are loved by me, because we are all on this crazy, funky journey of life together and I do love you because loving is fun and feels good even when it’s loving people you don’t know.
To the sun and the moon and back,
CAMDW (Chelsea Austin Montgomery-Duban Wächter)