Between now and September 30 when you buy a copy of my book, you get a planner!

Chelsea Austin • Oct 26, 2019

Trust Yourself

One of my favorite people and I had just finished up a lovely dinner together on our way to a concert. We’d been talking about other concerts we’d attended and how insanely expensive tickets can be. I mentioned to her that the most I’ve ever spent on a ticket was to see the musical, Hamilton and how I don’t regret a penny spent because it was one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen. I then was going on and on about this musical and that musical. We then stood up to leave the restaurant and head over to the concert next door. We were walking out of the restaurant arm in arm, giggling and leaning our little heads together…we looked adorable. All of a sudden she had this weird look on her face. “What’s with you?” I asked. She leaned even closer to me. Like so close her nose parted my hair. In the tiniest voice I’ve ever heard a grown person muster she whispered, “I really don’t like musicals.” 


Well, I stopped dead in my tracks, did a very dramatic pivot, looked her square in the eyes and said, “you mean the thing I majored in?” I was laughing out loud. “You didn’t major in musical theater!” she said. To which I replied, “well, no, but I have a degree in theater and dance, took voice lessons and only once have I ever performed in a straight play, everything else has always been a musical.” She turned beet red. I could tell she felt horrible. “Oh please don’t stress, I’m only teasing you, love,” I promised. We had a good laugh about it. Walking over to the concert though I kept pressing her about musicals she’d seen and why she didn’t like them and what it was about them that didn’t appeal to her. I wouldn’t give up. 


A whole week later I was still thinking about the fact that someone I love didn’t love something that was one of my greatest passions. I texted her, “Okay, so I am determined to find a musical you will like.” She was very obliging as I sent her suggestion, after suggestion. She actually listened to everything I sent her way and gave me very detailed explanations as to why each one bugged her. I finally texted my Dad who is the king of all things musical and said, “what do I do? She doesn’t like any of them! I’ve tried all of them.” After giving me a few more suggestions, my Dad, in all of his sage wisdom answered, “maybe that’s okay.” 


My head immediately disagreed. IT IS NOT OKAY!! SHE MUST LOVE MUSICALS!!!! 


Why did I care so much? She had promised me that she would always love to watch me perform. Well, me and Zac Efron. She had explained to me what about musicals she didn’t like and I refused to take that as an answer. I mean, my behavior will come as no surprise to most people that know me. I am relentless. I realized though that I had been trying to justify my deep love of something. The fact that my friend didn’t love musicals the way that I did offended me because to me it meant that musicals were then not a legitimate form of art. Really Chelsea? C’mon. That’s insane. Because of one person’s opinion, I felt the first 22 years of my life were delegitimized? That meant something was wrong in my head, not wrong with my friend. I was being a bit of a nut. 


This whole episode reminded me of seeing one of my heroes, Glennon Doyle, speak. She talked about how her son had several friends over to the house, some boys, some girls and when she asked them if anyone was hungry the boys thought for a second and replied, “yes.” But what happened with the young girls? The question was asked, they stopped, looked around, waiting for some kind of telepathic consensus and then one girl looked up and answered, “no” for the entire group. 


From the time we are young girls, women are taught to look for other people for approval of how they feel about something, something as personal as feeling hungry. When we’re hungry we don’t look inside and ask our tummy, “Hey, you hungry?” We look at our peers and ask their permission to be hungry or not. It is through this distrust of our own minds and bodies, Glennon says, that we stop trusting the decisions we make. I remember her telling this story and thinking, oh yeah, I bet some girls do that, but I don’t. I always know when I’m hungry. Then, as I avidly tried to get my friend to like musicals I realized I, too, have been tricked by society into not trusting my own likes and dislikes. If one person I know doesn’t like it, then I must be wrong. My friend is highly intelligent, gorgeous, and one of the hands-down loveliest people I’ve ever met. I assumed that if she isn’t into it, then my art isn’t legitimate. Not that her opinion doesn’t matter, but she should be entitled to that opinion, I entitled to mine and I should be able to believe enough in myself to know that my likes and dislikes are totally, 100% legitimate. I am beyond grateful for this amazing human in my life because she was willing to put up with a week straight of listening to musicals which she doesn’t like and because she brought me to the discovery that I need to learn to trust myself. If I like something, it means I like it. It doesn’t mean anyone else has to, it means I do and that is not a referendum on my intelligence or anything about me. 


So, I leave you with this. Trust your opinions. No one knows you better than you do and in the words of a woman I admire very much, Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (I admittedly first came to love that quote when watching The Princess Diaries. I love that movie and I stand by that love.)


Happy weekend friends! Here is to trusting yourself, your opinions and the decisions you make, I bet you’re going to make some really great ones. xooxoxox



Enter your email address to subscribe and join Chelsea's blog & podcast and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Contact Us

By Chelsea Austin 18 Oct, 2023
After a very eventful summer, Chelsea and Kevin sit down to talk about transitions to parenthood, unsolicited advice, Baby T’s entrance to the world and where we go from here on the last episode of Worthiness Warriors. For more information and to buy Chelsea’s book, Inexplicably Me , learn more about her Flip the Script course, speaking programs, or Blog check out her website chelseaaustin.com . You can also learn more about and order Kevin’s book, The Family Next Door, here! Be sure to connect with us on social media as well! Instagram: @chelseaaustinmdw @kevinscot TikTok: @chelseaaustinmdw Twitter: @chelseaamdw @KevMontDub Facebook: @ChelseaAustinMDW @thefamilynextdoorbook
By Chelsea Austin 04 Oct, 2023
On the way home from her college graduation Jacy Good and her family were in a car crash that changed her life forever. She and her husband, Steve, are now working to create a world with less distracted driving to save lives. Jacy and Steve are incredible examples of what it means to be brave enough to get out of your comfort zone and share your story in order to change hearts and minds on a global scale. If you need a reminder to stop texting and driving or need a boost to start sharing your own story, this episode is for you! More about Jacy and Steve: Jacy Good and Steve Johnson are public speakers and advocates for phone-free roads. Since Jacy’s miraculous recovery from the 2008 crash that claimed the lives of both her parents and left her partially paralyzed – a crash caused by a distracted driver – they have worked tirelessly to educate the country and world about the dangers of phone use behind the wheel. Help them end an epidemic that shatters thousands of American lives every year – Hang Up And Drive. Website: hangupanddrive.com Facebook: Jacy Good Instagram: @jacygood
By Chelsea Austin 20 Sep, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with wellness coach and energy healing practitioner (among many other things), Kadeem Alston-Roman, to talk about what self-care can look like for artists and empaths when it comes to protecting our creative energy, how we can make sure we’re taking care of ourselves, shedding our good girl/boy/person capes, and so very much more. If you’ve ever been known for being nice, but are ready instead to be known for being kind to yourself and others, this episode is for you. Mor e about Kadeem: Kadeem Alston-Roman is a meditation teacher, holistic wellness coach, energy healing practitioner, aromatherapist, hypnotherapist and inspirational speaker. He uses his gifts, skills and abilities to work with a variety of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual issues. He has worked with varying populations at Google, Yahoo, Verizon, Bloomberg, Audible, Mt. Sinai Hospital, New York Presbyterian Hospital, New York University, Brooklyn Friends School, Gibney Dance, The Actors Fund Arts Center, The World Policy Institute and others. His expertise has been featured in Forbes, Vogue, The Sunday Times, Martha Stewart Living, The Huffington Post, Dance Magazine, Medium, Heathline and other publications. He was the co-founder and co-director of Full Force Wellness & Dance Repertory, a dance organization that incorporated holistic wellness & clinical wellness into its classes and performances. Over ten years, Kadeem and his co-founder and co-director, Anginese Phillips, entertained and inspired audiences throughout New York City and the surrounding tri-state area. Kadeem was also the host of the podcast Upgrade Your Light and is the author of a cheeky book entitled, A Spiritual Guru Walked Into the House of a Cash Master…and the Rest Is History . For more information on all of Kadeem’s works visit: www.Linktr.ee/KadeemOne Website: kadeemone.com Instagram: @kadeemone
By Chelsea Austin 06 Sep, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with body-positive and LGBTQ-inclusive personal trainer and author, Eden Robinson to discuss something we would all rather not talk about, shame. Eden discusses her book, Becoming Shameless , and the process she’s gone through following an abusive childhood to release shame and how we all can too. More about Eden: Eden "Simchah" Robinson is a body-positive and LGBTQ-inclusive personal trainer based in San Fra ncisco. She just released her first book "Becoming Shameless", a memoir about surviving childhood abuse and coming out as a lesbian at 27. She's been interviewed on various podcasts including The Late Bloomers Clvb, The Only One In The Room, Life After MLM, and Am I The Crazy One? To find out more about her training, check out her website at www.fangirlfit.com . To see more of her writing, follow her on Instagram at @writing.eden Website: fangirlfit.com Instagram: @writing.eden
By Chelsea Austin 23 Aug, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with mediation coach and comedian, Aastha Lal, to talk about why it’s so hard to create a meditation routine, why it’s so worth it, exactly how to get started without having to sit in silence for hours a day, and how that simple change and shift your entire perspective on life. More about Aastha: Born and raised in Queens, New York, Aastha Lal is a little lady who gets big laughs! Starting her career in 2010, she has since performed stand-up comedy in over 450 shows and headlined on some of the biggest stages around the world in cities like London, Toronto, New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Dublin, and Hong Kong. She also is a meditation coach and has been practicing meditation for the last 16 years. In stagram: @aastha.lal TikTok: @aastha.lal
By Chelsea Austin 09 Aug, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with coach, author, and widow, Aly Bird, to talk about what it means to be a grief ally, aka, what it means to be there as a support person to someone who is grieving. Whether you are experiencing grief currently, are helping someone through grief, or are curious to know what to do when the time comes to support someone through a challenging time, this episode covers it all and more! More about Aly: Since her husband’s untimely death, Aly Bird has poured her heart into helping those who feel helpl ess during an unexpected crisis. Her extensive study of grief psychology and culture, combined with her own devastating first-hand knowledge, led her to create a roadmap for those committed to supporting the bereaved. A coach, speaker and workshop leader, Aly shows a clear path to those who have the courage to take on the vital role of being a grief ally. Website: www.alybird.com Instagram: @thealybird
By Chelsea Austin 26 Jul, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with professor and author, Shelly Tochluk, to talk about her latest book that she co-authored, Being White Today, identity development in the white community, what it looks like to be not a well-meaning white person, but to be actively Anti-Racist. This episode also dives into what allyship/being an accomplice can look like as a white person and how to get started when we feel anxious or sometimes even paralyzed by the fear of not “doing the right thing the right way.” More about Shelly: An educator, with a background in psychology, Shelly Tochluk is a professor at Mount Saint Mary’s University–Los Angeles. She is the author of Witnessing Whiteness: The Journey into Racial Awareness and Antiracist Action, Living in the Tension: The Quest f or a Spiritualized Racial Just ice, and co-author of Being White Today: A Roadmap for a Positive Antiracist Life . Shelly volunteers with AWARE-LA (Alliance of White Anti-Racists Everywhere-Los Angeles). She co-produces AWARE-LA’s 4-day Unmasking Whiteness Institute, which leads white people into a deeper understanding of their personal relationship to race and systemic racism. Website: shellytochluk.com AWARE-LA surj.org
By Chelsea Austin 12 Jul, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with Emilie Leyes, brain training specialist, hypnosis practitioner, social media creator, business owner, actor, and so much more to discuss how we can rewire negative thought patterns, what that looks like, why we so often fail in our attempts to do so, and what hypnosis really is and what it can do for you. More about Emilie: Emilie Leyes (she/they) is a NYC-based brain training specialist, hypnosis practitioner, actor and singer. In addition to working 1:1 with actors and public figures to support their mental health in their careers, she also offers brain training workshops and courses to the public, and shares resources daily in her TikTok community of over 675,000 people. Emilie is passionate about helping folks discover the power of their imaginations to transform their minds and the world. Make sure to follow her for exciting announcements about her new upcoming course and hypnosis app coming very soon! Website: emilieleyes.com Instagram: @emilieleyes TikTok: @emilieleyes.hypnosis
By Chelsea Austin 14 Jun, 2023
Chelsea and Kein sit down with Brian Rosenberg, founder of Gays with Kids to talk about what it takes to become a parent as a gay/queer man. From Kevin’s experience raising Chelsea in the early 90s to Brian’s experiences raising kids today there are so many wonderful tips, bits of advice, challenges to learn from, and stories for LGBTQ+ and straight parents alike in today’s episode! More about Brian: Brian Rosenberg is the founder of Gays With Kids and creator / head coach of GWK Academy, the only-one-of-its-kind App designed specifically to help gay and queer men become dads. Brian has more than 25 years of sales and marketing experience, but his real passion has been the creation of Gays With Kids, the one-stop destination for gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be. Brian and his husband Ferd became first-time dads in 2009, creating their family through adoption and surrogacy. At the time, there were few resources available to help queer men become dads, and even fewer for those who already were, so they launched GWK in March 2014. Together since 1993, the secret to this couple’s longevity is Ferd’s prowess in the kitchen and Brian’s great appreciation for anything his husband cooks! I nstagram: @gays_with_kids Website: gayswithkids.com Download the GWK Academy App here!
By Chelsea Austin 13 Jun, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down to discuss language and how two generations view profanity and language very differently. Usually aligned, Chelsea and Kevin go head to head on why they believe they’re both right and how we can see eye to eye beyond our generational differences. For more info rmation and to buy Chelsea’s book, Inexplicably Me , learn more about her Flip the Script course, speaking programs, or Blog check out her website chelseaaustin.com . You can also learn more about and order Kevin’s book, The Family Next Door, here! Be sure to connect with us on social media as well! Instagram: @chelseaaustinmdw @kevinscot TikTok: @chelseaaustinmdw Twitter: @chelseaamdw @KevMontDub Facebook: @ChelseaAustinMDW @thefamilynextdoorbook
More Posts
Share by: