September 4, 2020
I was never the most naturally gifted dancer. I was never the best in the class, but man, I was dedicated as all get out. I started dancing when I was three years old teetering around in a mommy and me class…but with my Dad, of course. As I got older I started to try other after school activities like horseback riding, soccer, painting, piano, violin, flute (okay, pretty much every instrument under the sun) and so many others, but as soon as there was a conflict and I had to choose, I always chose dance. It was a no-brainer for me. It was what I loved doing more than anything in the world.
I remember being in class when I was eleven years old where we were being tested to see if our feet were strong enough to wear the most-coveted pointe shoes. When it was my turn, I walked up to the teacher and delicately lifted my heels off of the ground to see if I could maintain a balance on my tippy toes for long enough without signs of weakness. I was so nervous and excited I couldn’t help but shake. However, luckily, I passed. And off I went to the dance store to purchase my very first pair of pointe shoes.
As the years went on I continuously dedicated myself to the craft. I knew I was not going to be a prima ballerina from the time I was an itty bitty, but I still had major dreams. I was determined to play the Sugarplum Fairy in our studio’s annual Nutcracker during my senior year of high school. Before I could get there though I still had years of training to undergo.
One day, when I was in ninth grade, I was standing in line to go across the floor. We were practicing partnering with the only two male dancers at the studio and tensions were high. We were all pretty excited. It felt like the next big step in our dance training. I had partnered with the boys in my flat shoes, but never in my pointe shoes. When it came my turn my teacher, whom I will let go nameless, came up to me and pulled me out of line and loudly said, so that the entire class of my peers could hear, “Chelsea you’re not strong enough to partner, why don’t you sit this one out.”
It was a dagger to my heart. I didn’t understand. I worked just as hard, if not harder than so many of the other dancers in my classes. I felt deflated. For a moment, I let the dream of being the Sugarplum Fairy slip away. Clearly, it wasn’t mine for the taking.
A few days past and I still wasn’t over the fact that I had been told I wasn’t strong enough. My resolve and desire to be the Sugarplum Fairy returned stronger than ever. I approached my parents and told them I needed to come up with a plan to make myself stronger. They obliged. I had another dance teacher that was willing to come over to the house before school to train me three times a week. I would get up at four o’clock in the morning and start my workouts with her. I increased the number of classes I was taking every month. I started working out after class, too.
Around the same time in my life, my Auntie Melanie gave me a beautiful little glass box. She told me that if I wrote down my dreams and put them in that box that it would help me manifest everything I wanted. I wrote down my strong desire to be the Sugarplum Fairy. Two years later the cast list went up for the Nutcracker. Right there, at the top, was my name.
Sugarplum Fairy: Chelsea Montgomery Duban.
I squealed with delight. Years of hard work, practice, and manifestation had turned my dream into a reality. I took that notion of being able to manifest, work hard, and believe in my dreams and turned the process over to something slightly more complicated…finding a life partner.
Inspired by some family friends, I wrote down everything I ever wanted in my perfect (if there is such a thing) person. It was a looooooooong list.
It covered everything from personality traits to physical appearance and beyond. I took that list and wrapped it with a bow and put it in a drawer and didn’t look at it again. This time there was no easy solution or goals I could set like—hire a trainer or take more classes. But still, I believed this dream was mine for the taking that I was destined to find a magical unicorn of a human that was able to meet all the criteria I had on my human wish list. Every time I was rejected by someone I took it in stride knowing that they weren’t meant for me. It still hurt like hell, but I always held in the back of my mind that my unicorn wish list was at work and that I just had to trust and believe that my dream would come true and that my person was out there and that it was the Universe’s job to handle the timing. So, I waited and dated. I figured every person I dated that ended up not being my person would lead me closer to my mate and would help me learn something along the way and learn I did.
When I was twenty-two this magical unicorn in the shape of a sweet, kind and may I say hot as hell German guy walked into my parents’ real estate company. We fell madly in love (there’s a nice long story there at some point for anyone who’s willing to listen). Finally, after many years collecting dust in my drawer, I pulled out the list. We read it together. He had everything on there. Well, everything except for blue eyes which I can decidedly live without.
There have been several times in my life where my dreams have collided with my power of manifestation (which by the way, you totally have too). Sometimes dreams are achievable by goal setting and hard work. Sometimes they are completely out of your control and you just have to have some kind of faith that they are yours for the taking. But a willingness to dream is something that has gotten me to where I am today. It has helped me believe that I can create the life I dream of—even with the things that money simply cannot buy.
All I ask is that you give yourself space to dream—even for a minute. Even if you’ve been beaten down or told you cannot. A willingness to dream and pick yourself back up is all you need to start. Then comes the belief in yourself. Then comes the manifestation in any form that speaks to you. Then comes knowing timing is not up to you, but just start with a small willingness to have a dream and believe that dream is yours for the taking the floodgates will open from there.
I love you so much and I hope you have wonderful days ahead of dreaming and manifesting and if you ever get stuck please don’t hesitate to reach out so we can come up with a plan together to move forward. XOXO, CAMDW