September 6, 2019
I really, truly believe it is possible to have everything you want in life by believing you can, hard work and not giving up. The world is literally your oyster. However, I also think I would be remiss if I didn’t say I think it’s next to impossible to try and create the whole entire life you desire all at once.
The last six months or so I have been making myself insane trying to create this new life that I so desperately want. I am shifting my career focus, trying to become fluent in German, working on creating healthy eating habits, making sure to maintain my friendships, trying to get back to dance class, meditating more, wanting to be a patient, kind and good wife, and trying to make sure our companies don’t fall apart as I start a transition and Domi does too. (cue the tension headache and tears.) It’s all just way too much. And instead of creating the life I want I have made myself feel like I’m not good at anything and that everything is out of my reach.
Do I believe that that entire list of things I want for my life I can make happen? Absolutely. Do I also think that when I look at the laundry list of things that I want for my life can happen immediately? No, I do not. (Damn.)
No matter how much I want everything to happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE. It’s just not physically possible to overhaul your life from every single angle all at once. You become spread so thin that you don’t really end up doing anything. You become paralyzed by all that you want to be instead of inspired to create this life you want to enjoy.
So, here’s what I think. I need to prioritize. I need to sit down and create a focus. There’s a reason smart people create long-term and short-term goals. So, I’ve decided I should do what the smart people do and I’ve also decided that I am going to have a “theme of the month.” I know it sounds so ridiculously cheesy, but I think it’s an experiment that will actually work. I will work on creating one good habit at a time. I will work on myself and the change I want to create one building block at a time. (Maybe two if I’m feeling really crazy and getting lots of sleep.)
I will also be realistic about my accomplishments.
Do I want to be fluent in German so that all Domi and I speak at home is German? Yes. Do I get my butt to class and do my homework every week? Yes. So, why do I get upset that I am too tired to speak German at home every day. Why do I beat myself up for not being fluent NOW? It is pointless to be so mad at myself. I will become fluent because I will not give up, but when so much is going on around me I need to be gentle with myself and know that there will be the perfect time to make German my focus and maybe now is just not that time. Does this mean I give up and say, okay, I don’t have to go to class anymore? Um…No. It just means that I am focusing on another area of my life this month and German is going to have to take a backseat based on what I need right now.
I can have it all.
Every single thing on my list I will be able to check off in my lifetime, in fact, I’ll probably be able to check them all off within the next five years, I just need to take the pressure off that it all has to happen NOW. That is all has to be immediate. (I partially blame social media for this…but that’s for another time.) The getting to these goals should be as exciting and as much of a learning process, if not more so, than actually achieving them.
It’s like my Daddy told my Domi this week about school (as we have all been watching him slave and stress over his homework for hours on end), “learn the material and enjoy the material, whether or not you get an A in every class is immaterial. If you went to school and worked so hard just to get a good grade, but didn’t learn what you went to school to learn it would be a waste. The letter grade is not always the best way to dictate how much you’ve learned. I would only be sad if you didn’t enjoy the material.” I guess the same applies to me in a different way (no effing way am I going to start studying tax law and enjoying it like my dear husband). I don’t need to get an A in life. I need to enjoy the material. I need to love the process of getting there. The hiccups and oopsies and times when things don’t go according to my plan are beautiful because maybe they will lead to something even greater that I didn’t know was a possibility.
Don’t make it all happen at once or you won’t appreciate the journey of letting it happen over time. It’ll be more enjoyable and more of what you need, you’ll be able to actually hear the universe talking to you and showing you your path because you’ll be awake enough to actually listen (as opposed to laying in bed paralyzed by a tension headache).
Happy weekend friends. I hope you enjoy, appreciate and hug lots of people. xoxoxo