Sometimes we learn a life lesson and it just keeps coming back to us over and over and over again. I know I’ve said it before and I will probably say it hundreds of times more, but your worth cannot be found in any number.

Not the number on a scale.

Not the number of followers, likes, or comments you have.

Not your net worth.

Not your number of friends you have. 

Not the value you charge for a service.

Your worth and value are immeasurable. There isn’t any specific numeric value that you could ever assign to it because it is beyond anything worldly. 

Humans love to assign values to things. We answer questions on a 1-10 scale all the time, so it is natural to want to find some way to make your value have something to do with numbers, but it’s just not possible.

As someone that relies heavily on follower growth and numbers, I forget that a lot. Sometimes I’ll even start to think that other people are more worthy or better at their jobs based on how many followers, likes, or comments they have. I threw myself into a tizzy a few weeks ago because I just couldn’t figure out how to make all of this growth happen faster. I was getting frustrated that I had friends who jumped up in followers overnight or had built a following over years. I felt behind, frustrated, and at a loss. I was aggravated that I felt like things weren’t happening at the pace I wanted them to. I just wanted it now because somewhere in my mind, I felt that if I had it now I could start feeling worthy or successful. I forgot that I can feel worthy and successful right now…regardless of how many people follow me. It sounds straightforward, but it’s not always. Our lives are constantly caught up in numbers. Maybe it’s not on social media, maybe it’s how many hours we worked in a week, or slept at night, or the number that flashes on our scale in our bathroom. Those numbers can sometimes make us feel small, but I don’t want that for us. I want us to feel worthy regardless of what society has told us those numbers might or might not mean. 

So, here are the tools I used to remind myself of my worth. 

Stop scrolling. 

It’s so easy to get sucked into social media and it can make us feel all kinds of things about ourselves that have nothing to do with reality. So, give yourself a break. It doesn’t need to be forever, it can even be for an hour, but give yourself a moment to step away and realize that followers, likes, comments, or how someone looks on social media don’t always have to do with reality. 

Step off the scale.

I also struggle with body image issues…I mean those of us who don’t, I believe, are few and far between, but I learned something valuable from a dietician on Instagram once (oh the irony…). She said if you feel happy about the number on the scale that’s just as problematic as feeling sad or disappointed about the number on the scale because it means how you feel about yourself is tied to that number. So, step off the scale because I know you might argue with me, but that number does not matter. Better yet, throw that scale out! You don’t need it to decide whether or not you can feel good about your body and I’ve spent way too long thinking that it did have something to do with whether I can be happy or sad and I think we should stop, deal? 

Find your unique value proposition. 

When I start to question my worth and imposter syndrome sneaks in there, I like to think about my unique value proposition because just like every business every human has a unique value proposition. There is a unique set of physical and personality traits that don’t belong to anyone but you. If you lean into what makes you the person you are, you’ll see that no one else could do the thing you’re doing or live the life you’re living, in your unique way, besides you. 

Think about it this way…if I go out into the world trying to be Brené Brown or Glennon Doyle, I’m missing out on an opportunity to be Chelsea Austin. I’ll always feel like an imposter if I’m trying to do things and be things that someone else already is. But, if I can lean into who I am and how I do things I will feel like I am right at home because there is no other Chelsea Austin Montgomery-Duban Wächter that Chelsea Austin Montgomery-Duban Wächter’s like I do. We can emulate people we admire but always come back to knowing you have something special to offer the world that only you can offer in your special way. 

We all have moments where we forget where our worth and value lie, but please remember that it is in who you are, not in what you can do for others. It’s in how we show up as our truest selves, not in numbers that try to tell us things. That’s what we have to remember. 

I love you, I’m thinking about you, and don’t forget that we define our worth.

XOXO, CAMDW

P.S. I have one caveat when it comes to numbers. After writing this, I received my first set of sales numbers and royalty check for my book, Inexplicably Me. I got excited when I saw that those numbers had surpassed what I had expected. Then I started to think about this blog post… 

For a second, I questioned whether or not I should be getting excited. Then I realized it’s okay to feel things about numbers if it feels right to you-just remember that any numbers you come across regarding you, your work, or someone else, and your worth are not the same. They are two different things! Just wanted to add that in there, my friends. Love you!