You Can Stop Explaining Yourself Now And Here’s Why

October 26, 2021


As long as I’ve been alive I’ve required an explanation. How did you come to be? Why? How did it work? Was that hard for you? Did you ever want your family to be different? And don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually mind the questions, I just have realized that I am very used to explaining myself and I do it without thinking, even when an explanation isn’t required…like when making plans. 

It’s really hard for me to say no to things. Do you know that feeling? I’m working on it, but something I’ve had to work through in the process is my need to explain why when I do say “no” to something. I used to feel that there always had to be a solid reason to turn something down, but here’s a not-so-secret secret, there doesn’t have to be any reason to say no to something. If you don’t want to do it that is reason enough to say no. You don’t have to come up with an excuse, you don’t have to try and finagle your way out of it you can simply say, “Oh, that doesn’t work for me!” or “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it.” Or any version that works for you. 

We’re all so used to explaining ourselves and not trusting ourselves when it comes to what we do and don’t want to do, so let’s take a step back…when you’re asked to do something or make plans actually ask yourself:

1) Do I want to do this? If the answer is a genuine yes, then great! Woohoo! Say yes! But if the answer is no, or not sure, let’s ask ourselves some more questions…

2) What is behind my “no” or “not sure”? Is it fear? Is it because I truly don’t want to? Is it something else? 

3) Allow yourself to explore the answer to those questions and feel free to say no or yes or whatever you feel without an explanation or rescheduling if that’s not what you want to do. 

I’ve spent so much time saying “yes” to everything and then realizing I have to cancel because I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, or not in the mood and then I feel flaky, but what if I had the confidence and courage to say no, or to pick a date and time that works for me and my schedule in service of my self-care as opposed to constantly accommodating everyone else? What if we just said, “no?” What would happen then?

Food for thought, my friends. I’m thinking about you. I love you. XOXOX, CAMDW



Like This




Share This

  • You will never spend as much time analyzing whether a yes or no is coming from your truest self as you will doing something when you wished you’ll said no. Great reminder!!!

  • The Latest from Chelsea’s Blog

    post thumbnail

    Thoughtfulness Is So Underrated…

    I was on one of my many walks with Moe when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I pulled it out to see a text from my friend, Aastha, it read, “Chelsea are you home? I was going to head to Alana’s,” which is our favorite coffee shop, “so let me know if […]

    Read More
    post thumbnail

    Slow Down: It’s For More Than Just Peace of Mind

    Have you ever driven home and realized you don’t know how you got there? Or had a day where it just felt like everything was going wrong and the energy was off and stuff just kept happening to you? Have you stopped to take a moment to think about why it might be happening?  The […]

    Read More
    post thumbnail

    The Magic of Awareness

    Our alarm goes off every morning at 5:50 am…Domi hits snooze and we’re jolted awake again at 6. Groggily I roll over and hit the light next to our bed because that’s the only way I know I’ll get up—with light shining in my eyes. I grab my glasses and my phone and head into […]

    Read More
    post thumbnail

    How to Prioritize with One Simple Question

    Lately, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I have too much on my plate. It’s really hard to admit that for me. For months now I’ve been wondering why I can’t seem to prioritize the things in my life, why it feels so hard. I make lists on lists of my priorities and I forget […]

    Read More

    Follow Chelsea’s Journey

    stop and smell quotes