You Can Stop Explaining Yourself Now And Here’s Why

October 26, 2021


As long as I’ve been alive I’ve required an explanation. How did you come to be? Why? How did it work? Was that hard for you? Did you ever want your family to be different? And don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually mind the questions, I just have realized that I am very used to explaining myself and I do it without thinking, even when an explanation isn’t required…like when making plans. 

It’s really hard for me to say no to things. Do you know that feeling? I’m working on it, but something I’ve had to work through in the process is my need to explain why when I do say “no” to something. I used to feel that there always had to be a solid reason to turn something down, but here’s a not-so-secret secret, there doesn’t have to be any reason to say no to something. If you don’t want to do it that is reason enough to say no. You don’t have to come up with an excuse, you don’t have to try and finagle your way out of it you can simply say, “Oh, that doesn’t work for me!” or “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it.” Or any version that works for you. 

We’re all so used to explaining ourselves and not trusting ourselves when it comes to what we do and don’t want to do, so let’s take a step back…when you’re asked to do something or make plans actually ask yourself:

1) Do I want to do this? If the answer is a genuine yes, then great! Woohoo! Say yes! But if the answer is no, or not sure, let’s ask ourselves some more questions…

2) What is behind my “no” or “not sure”? Is it fear? Is it because I truly don’t want to? Is it something else? 

3) Allow yourself to explore the answer to those questions and feel free to say no or yes or whatever you feel without an explanation or rescheduling if that’s not what you want to do. 

I’ve spent so much time saying “yes” to everything and then realizing I have to cancel because I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, or not in the mood and then I feel flaky, but what if I had the confidence and courage to say no, or to pick a date and time that works for me and my schedule in service of my self-care as opposed to constantly accommodating everyone else? What if we just said, “no?” What would happen then?

Food for thought, my friends. I’m thinking about you. I love you. XOXOX, CAMDW



Like This




Share This

The Latest from Chelsea’s Blog

post thumbnail

What I Didn’t Expect While Expecting: 6 First Trimester Musings That Apply To Every Day Life

In case you missed it, Domi and I are having a baby!! We are beyond excited to welcome a new member to the family, but the roller coaster of emotions I’ve felt since looking at those two pink lines on the (third) pregnancy test I took that fateful Sunday in November has been overwhelming. No, […]

Read More
post thumbnail

Why Self Worth And Math Don’t Mix – 3 Ways To Remind Yourself “I Am Worthy”

Sometimes we learn a life lesson and it just keeps coming back to us over and over and over again. I know I’ve said it before and I will probably say it hundreds of times more, but your worth cannot be found in any number. Not the number on a scale. Not the number of […]

Read More
post thumbnail

How To Say No When It’s Hard To – 3 Important Thoughts To Consider

  I was on my way to ballet the other day when I just started to cry. I felt so sick of being taken advantage of. I felt like I was always being used and forced into things I didn’t want to do. Domi is always asking me, “Baby, did you really want to do […]

Read More
post thumbnail

How To Be Emotionally Intelligent In Business (and Life) Plans in 9 Steps

    It’s probably not surprising to anyone that I love to make plans. There’s an entire chapter of my book Inexplicably Me entitled, “Some People Have Security Blankets. I Have Lists.” I’ve been making lists and plans since I was seven years old. It’s something that makes me feel safe and, at the same […]

Read More

Follow Chelsea’s Journey

stop and smell quotes