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Chelsea Austin • July 24, 2020

Life is not a To Do List

Domi (my hubs) has been studying late into the night for his CPA exam and working almost around the clock. I have found myself, especially, in the last few days creating things for myself to do so that I can be just as exhausted, stressed, and busy as him. While he studies I do laundry. If there is a chore that hasn’t been handled at the end of the day I do it–even if it’s not urgent. Like wrestling with the slipcovers to our outdoor furniture…as if that has to be done at 11pm. I swear I almost pinned myself to the ground with a large cushion…not cute.


I know in my heart, in these moments, I just want to pick up a cup of tea, sit on the sofa, and watch some TV or read a book.


Domi and I used to have the same job—so it was easy to measure my productivity and never feel that one of us worked “more” or “harder” than the other. Then I started a new career path where it’s not so easy to check boxes of things done in a day. Where sometimes I need to take time to get inspired, however, problematically, I was still comparing my work schedule to Domi’s. I was watching him study late into the night thinking—even though he would never agree with this—Domi is going to think I’m lazy if I am not being productive when he’s studying. I need to show him I am still working hard.


So, question. Well, actually several questions.


Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we focus on all of the things we aren’t able to get done in a day instead of all of the things we do accomplish? Why is it our goal to put ourselves down and make ourselves small when we give our mind time to recover and when we do an activity that brings us joy?


Our productivity is not a measure of our self-worth. We get to define our worth, remember?


I way too often beat myself up for not being superwoman, or for trying and failing, or for trying and succeeding and then being exhausted. This is a lose, lose, lose situation. I beat myself up for taking time to talk to my friends and color in my coloring book and doing things that my brain tells me “aren’t necessary,” but things my heart knows are what will lead to me reaching my highest potential in joy and ultimately will make me a lot better at what I do.


So, here are some things that I have now decided aren’t only fun, but also totally necessary for my mental survival. When times are easy, when times are hard, no matter what times—taking moments to really engage without guilt in joy activities is what I am focusing on. What silly little fun thing do you do to bring you joy? I want a never-ending list, so please, share away!!


1)     Dancing around to an amazing song (Currently, this is Leslie Odom Jr.’s album “Mr.”)


2)     Going for a drive


3)     Calling a friend


4)     Writing a letter to a friend


5)     Coloring in a coloring book—no, Domi, I don’t care how nerdy you think this is…


6)     Journaling


7)     Watching TV


8)     Reading


9)     Taking a bath


10)    Going for a hike (mask on—promise)


11)    Going for a walk (mask also on here)


12)    Making a super special coffee or tea drink that takes way more time than it should


13)    Watching videos of puppies on social media—I mean legitimately, how can you not smile? Yes, Juliette, my entire TikTok feed is puppies, thank you for asking


14)    Giving myself a facial or mani-pedi—I am absolute s?*& at painting my nails, but it’s still so fun


I am going to work on not having guilt about taking time for myself. I will stop constantly comparing my productivity to those around me. SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS: MY PRODUCTIVITY AND MY SELF-WORTH ARE TWO DIFFERENT, UNRELATED THINGS. You are an incredible human no matter how much you get done in one day. You are a fantastic mom, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, partner, father, anything person regardless of how much you get done. Just because your partner is working late into the night doesn’t mean you need to keep working or finding ways to make yourself busy so that you keep the same hours as they do. Newsflash—you probably work two totally different jobs where the requirements are different, and where the expectations are different.


I think it was Theodore Roosevelt who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” He was totally right. So catch yourself as you start to compare yourself. No one is living the same life you are. No one knows you better than you do. You know what you need. Take care of yourself. Please. For me. We need lots of wonderful, compassionate, loving humans on this planet. Don’t deplete yourself until there is nothing left.


Have an amazing weekend friends. I love you. XOXO, CAMDW




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Episode 13: Episode 13: Worthiness Warriors, A New Era

By Chelsea Austin • October 18, 2023
After a very eventful summer, Chelsea and Kevin sit down to talk about transitions to parenthood, unsolicited advice, Baby T’s entrance to the world and where we go from here on the last episode of Worthiness Warriors. For more information and to buy Chelsea’s book, Inexplicably Me , learn more about her Flip the Script course, speaking programs, or Blog check out her website chelseaaustin.com . You can also learn more about and order Kevin’s book, The Family Next Door, here! Be sure to connect with us on social media as well! Instagram: @chelseaaustinmdw @kevinscot TikTok: @chelseaaustinmdw Twitter: @chelseaamdw @KevMontDub Facebook: @ChelseaAustinMDW @thefamilynextdoorbook

Episode 12: How Sharing Your Story Can Make a Profound Impact with Jacy Good and Steve Johnson

By Chelsea Austin • October 4, 2023
On the way home from her college graduation Jacy Good and her family were in a car crash that changed her life forever. She and her husband, Steve, are now working to create a world with less distracted driving to save lives. Jacy and Steve are incredible examples of what it means to be brave enough to get out of your comfort zone and share your story in order to change hearts and minds on a global scale. If you need a reminder to stop texting and driving or need a boost to start sharing your own story, this episode is for you! More about Jacy and Steve: Jacy Good and Steve Johnson are public speakers and advocates for phone-free roads. Since Jacy’s miraculous recovery from the 2008 crash that claimed the lives of both her parents and left her partially paralyzed – a crash caused by a distracted driver – they have worked tirelessly to educate the country and world about the dangers of phone use behind the wheel. Help them end an epidemic that shatters thousands of American lives every year – Hang Up And Drive. Website: hangupanddrive.com Facebook: Jacy Good Instagram: @jacygood

Episode 11: Protecting Your Energy (Especially for Artists and Empaths) with Guest Kadeem Alston-Roman

By Chelsea Austin • September 20, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with wellness coach and energy healing practitioner (among many other things), Kadeem Alston-Roman, to talk about what self-care can look like for artists and empaths when it comes to protecting our creative energy, how we can make sure we’re taking care of ourselves, shedding our good girl/boy/person capes, and so very much more. If you’ve ever been known for being nice, but are ready instead to be known for being kind to yourself and others, this episode is for you. Mor e about Kadeem: Kadeem Alston-Roman is a meditation teacher, holistic wellness coach, energy healing practitioner, aromatherapist, hypnotherapist and inspirational speaker. He uses his gifts, skills and abilities to work with a variety of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual issues. He has worked with varying populations at Google, Yahoo, Verizon, Bloomberg, Audible, Mt. Sinai Hospital, New York Presbyterian Hospital, New York University, Brooklyn Friends School, Gibney Dance, The Actors Fund Arts Center, The World Policy Institute and others. His expertise has been featured in Forbes, Vogue, The Sunday Times, Martha Stewart Living, The Huffington Post, Dance Magazine, Medium, Heathline and other publications. He was the co-founder and co-director of Full Force Wellness & Dance Repertory, a dance organization that incorporated holistic wellness & clinical wellness into its classes and performances. Over ten years, Kadeem and his co-founder and co-director, Anginese Phillips, entertained and inspired audiences throughout New York City and the surrounding tri-state area. Kadeem was also the host of the podcast Upgrade Your Light and is the author of a cheeky book entitled, A Spiritual Guru Walked Into the House of a Cash Master…and the Rest Is History . For more information on all of Kadeem’s works visit: www.Linktr.ee/KadeemOne Website: kadeemone.com Instagram: @kadeemone

Episode 10: Becoming Shameless with Guest Eden Robinson

By Chelsea Austin • September 6, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with body-positive and LGBTQ-inclusive personal trainer and author, Eden Robinson to discuss something we would all rather not talk about, shame. Eden discusses her book, Becoming Shameless , and the process she’s gone through following an abusive childhood to release shame and how we all can too. More about Eden: Eden "Simchah" Robinson is a body-positive and LGBTQ-inclusive personal trainer based in San Fra ncisco. She just released her first book "Becoming Shameless", a memoir about surviving childhood abuse and coming out as a lesbian at 27. She's been interviewed on various podcasts including The Late Bloomers Clvb, The Only One In The Room, Life After MLM, and Am I The Crazy One? To find out more about her training, check out her website at www.fangirlfit.com . To see more of her writing, follow her on Instagram at @writing.eden Website: fangirlfit.com Instagram: @writing.eden

Episode 9: Making Meditation Approachable and How It Can Change Your Life with Guest Aastha Lal

By Chelsea Austin • August 23, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with mediation coach and comedian, Aastha Lal, to talk about why it’s so hard to create a meditation routine, why it’s so worth it, exactly how to get started without having to sit in silence for hours a day, and how that simple change and shift your entire perspective on life. More about Aastha: Born and raised in Queens, New York, Aastha Lal is a little lady who gets big laughs! Starting her career in 2010, she has since performed stand-up comedy in over 450 shows and headlined on some of the biggest stages around the world in cities like London, Toronto, New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Dublin, and Hong Kong. She also is a meditation coach and has been practicing meditation for the last 16 years. In stagram: @aastha.lal TikTok: @aastha.lal

Episode 8: How to Be A Grief Ally with Guest Aly Bird

By Chelsea Austin • August 9, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with coach, author, and widow, Aly Bird, to talk about what it means to be a grief ally, aka, what it means to be there as a support person to someone who is grieving. Whether you are experiencing grief currently, are helping someone through grief, or are curious to know what to do when the time comes to support someone through a challenging time, this episode covers it all and more! More about Aly: Since her husband’s untimely death, Aly Bird has poured her heart into helping those who feel helpl ess during an unexpected crisis. Her extensive study of grief psychology and culture, combined with her own devastating first-hand knowledge, led her to create a roadmap for those committed to supporting the bereaved. A coach, speaker and workshop leader, Aly shows a clear path to those who have the courage to take on the vital role of being a grief ally. Website: www.alybird.com Instagram: @thealybird

Episode 7: How To Be a Productive White Anti-Racist with Guest Shelly Tochluk

By Chelsea Austin • July 26, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with professor and author, Shelly Tochluk, to talk about her latest book that she co-authored, Being White Today, identity development in the white community, what it looks like to be not a well-meaning white person, but to be actively Anti-Racist. This episode also dives into what allyship/being an accomplice can look like as a white person and how to get started when we feel anxious or sometimes even paralyzed by the fear of not “doing the right thing the right way.” More about Shelly: An educator, with a background in psychology, Shelly Tochluk is a professor at Mount Saint Mary’s University–Los Angeles. She is the author of Witnessing Whiteness: The Journey into Racial Awareness and Antiracist Action, Living in the Tension: The Quest f or a Spiritualized Racial Just ice, and co-author of Being White Today: A Roadmap for a Positive Antiracist Life . Shelly volunteers with AWARE-LA (Alliance of White Anti-Racists Everywhere-Los Angeles). She co-produces AWARE-LA’s 4-day Unmasking Whiteness Institute, which leads white people into a deeper understanding of their personal relationship to race and systemic racism. Website: shellytochluk.com AWARE-LA surj.org

Episode 6: Rewiring Negative Thought Patterns with Guest Emilie Leyes

By Chelsea Austin • July 12, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down with Emilie Leyes, brain training specialist, hypnosis practitioner, social media creator, business owner, actor, and so much more to discuss how we can rewire negative thought patterns, what that looks like, why we so often fail in our attempts to do so, and what hypnosis really is and what it can do for you. More about Emilie: Emilie Leyes (she/they) is a NYC-based brain training specialist, hypnosis practitioner, actor and singer. In addition to working 1:1 with actors and public figures to support their mental health in their careers, she also offers brain training workshops and courses to the public, and shares resources daily in her TikTok community of over 675,000 people. Emilie is passionate about helping folks discover the power of their imaginations to transform their minds and the world. Make sure to follow her for exciting announcements about her new upcoming course and hypnosis app coming very soon! Website: emilieleyes.com Instagram: @emilieleyes TikTok: @emilieleyes.hypnosis

Episode 4: The Path to Parenthood as a Gay/Queer Man with Guest Brian Rosenberg

By Chelsea Austin • June 14, 2023
Chelsea and Kein sit down with Brian Rosenberg, founder of Gays with Kids to talk about what it takes to become a parent as a gay/queer man. From Kevin’s experience raising Chelsea in the early 90s to Brian’s experiences raising kids today there are so many wonderful tips, bits of advice, challenges to learn from, and stories for LGBTQ+ and straight parents alike in today’s episode! More about Brian: Brian Rosenberg is the founder of Gays With Kids and creator / head coach of GWK Academy, the only-one-of-its-kind App designed specifically to help gay and queer men become dads. Brian has more than 25 years of sales and marketing experience, but his real passion has been the creation of Gays With Kids, the one-stop destination for gay, bi and trans dads and dads-to-be. Brian and his husband Ferd became first-time dads in 2009, creating their family through adoption and surrogacy. At the time, there were few resources available to help queer men become dads, and even fewer for those who already were, so they launched GWK in March 2014. Together since 1993, the secret to this couple’s longevity is Ferd’s prowess in the kitchen and Brian’s great appreciation for anything his husband cooks! I nstagram: @gays_with_kids Website: gayswithkids.com Download the GWK Academy App here!

Episode 5: A Little Daditude and a Whole Lot of Generation Gaps

By Chelsea Austin • June 13, 2023
Chelsea and Kevin sit down to discuss language and how two generations view profanity and language very differently. Usually aligned, Chelsea and Kevin go head to head on why they believe they’re both right and how we can see eye to eye beyond our generational differences. For more info rmation and to buy Chelsea’s book, Inexplicably Me , learn more about her Flip the Script course, speaking programs, or Blog check out her website chelseaaustin.com . You can also learn more about and order Kevin’s book, The Family Next Door, here! Be sure to connect with us on social media as well! Instagram: @chelseaaustinmdw @kevinscot TikTok: @chelseaaustinmdw Twitter: @chelseaamdw @KevMontDub Facebook: @ChelseaAustinMDW @thefamilynextdoorbook
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